strong beer, strong legs: Stupid Terra Cotta ride May 27th

strong beer, strong legs: Stupid Terra Cotta ride May 27th

Stupid Terra Cotta ride May 27th

Today was a day like a lot of other really hot days.  Basically just a regular day , but hotter than most.
Regardless, I headed into Wheels of Bloor to pick up a tube and then started riding. It was only 23 or 24 degrees out so it was perfect for a good 60k ride.   Shortly thereafter I meet up with a dude from the Morning Glory Team.  He persuades me into going way further than I intended.  We ride from downtown out to Terra Cotta.  The distance wasn't the problem it was the heat.  It was getting hotter by the minute.  I only had 2 bottles, but also had no food.  I had intended to just do laps at the Crit course , hit a store on the way back and I would be good.  So this guy Hanz takes me out way past where I want to go, granted it's a nice ride, but my leg just aren't turning.  I kept falling off his wheel, and I don't even think he was pushing it.

We stopped at a small fruit market for more water and some apples.  We each bought 3 waters, all of which were done by the time we got home.  The temperature at the market was 33 degrees in the shade and that felt great compared to being in the sun.  I wager it was closer to 40 on the road.

  

So we ride back into Toronto with nary a hit and run scare.  Those guys from the Morning Glory team all seem , so far, to be really great guys.  Hanz, told me that he works for the guy who invented Paypal, and who also owns Tesla Electric cars.  The company, not just the cars.

Official rules of the Euro cyclist states tan lines must be crisp and defined

I inhaled this in 2 minutes

Prestige Worldwide II

When I was about 11 yrs old I  lived in North York, which is on the north end of Toronto.  In the summer we all used to play at this ravine, there was a small river and trails going through the trees .  It was great fun.  I often tried to coerce my Mom into letting me camp down there with my friends.  She never gave in.  Another great part about the ravine was this storm drain outlet into the creek. It was a huge tunnel that frequently poured  rain water into the creek that eventually drained into Lake Ontario.  We were able to get inside this huge sewer tunnel if the water was low.  There was a steel cage over the entrance but with a little work we could always crawl beneath it.  It wasn't gross and infested with rats as I had always imagined.  It was dark but not dark enough to scare us.  We could tunnel our way up for a while until we hit the  ladders that would take us up to the Man-Holes on the street above.

One time (my last time) we went down into the tunnels with some older kids.  They were all just sitting around near the entrance , too cool  I suppose to go all the way in.  Maybe they had done it too many times...I don't know.  So I crawl in, and I find this huge baseball sized piece of tarmac.  It's gotta be 6 lbs.  I guess I just wanted to see how far I could hurl it down the tunnel.  I wound up and fucking chucked it like I really meant it. I remember  the screaming.  It seemed like the screams began the exact moment the rock left my my hand.  I had hit the oldest, biggest and toughest of the boys right in the temple with my overhand asphalt curveball.  He cried like a much younger kid I thought.........but in his defense , there was a shitload of blood.  Blood. Blood . Blood. His blood.  Everywhere.  I also remember thinking if this kid doesn't come to kill me in the next few days, his parents will.  After a week of worry, I sort of forgot about it.  I hadn't heard he died, or  that he was looking for me.  So I took that as great news.  I haven't hit anyone with rocks ever since.

Yesterday I was on Facebook chatting with some dude from Belgium.  He informs that there is now an 8th Trappistine bier.  I was like 'cut the crap'..........for realsies?   There is now an 8th Trappist monestary/brewery .  Although it's not in Belgium, like those posers at De Koningshoeven in the Netherlands. (i'm just screwing around) but this one is in Austria.  I can't speak to the deliciousness of the beer but I do know one thing.  There is not a crappy Trappist beer.  Chimay is creamy good .  Orval, even tastier.  Westmalle Trippel being the best beer ever to pass my lips, but I can't wait to taste this .

I think me, Jimmi and Tom are going to have to pay another visit to the beer bistro soon.

The Goon Ride

This Blog is back by popular demand

Tonight was the weekly ride that leaves High Park (across the street from my house) and heads out to Port Credit.  Its basically like a Donut Ride. I don't know how to make that a hyperlink but you can google 'Donut Ride Toronto'.  The only difference is that there is a smaller group, the ride is shorter, a different route, and the ratio of racers to non racers is higher.  So , basically it has little in common with the Donut Ride.  I guess I just compare the 2 rides because a few of the crazy riders from the Donut show up here.  There's this one dude who is really hairy, he looks like a starving gorilla and he has the weirdest fashion sense, and looks pretty awkward on the bike.  Try to stay in front of him.  There's several guys like that. Fuck, I may be one of them.........They probably say 'that dick in the green and white, with the sweet Italian bike and perfect 100rpm cadence, he is always chopping wheels.....he raced for Kurzawinski last year....'

File Photo: Not the Thursday Goon Ride

Tonight the hero's of the ride tried to take us on a different route.  I guess it was ok.  Seemingly less traffic than going down the Queensway.

Anyways a few of us either got caught behind a light or let the main group get away.....I actually can't remember now, but it was me, and Bobby and Ian from Wheels of Bloor and 1 other dude.  We didn't seem to be catching them, and we were hitting all the lights.  Then after a lot of strong pulls by Ian and even stronger wheelsucking by me , Bobby took a long one  that basically launched Ian into warp 9.7 and he took off and caught those guys up front.  One of which was my Teammate Johnny Power.  The power was on tonight, but still on the ECO mode, always saving some for the sprint at the end.  Although Ian managed to beat down that Sweet Pete's guy like a red-headed step child up the final sprint climb, always good.

Basically it's not that friendly a ride, I mean no one wants to talk with Z-Team in those funny kits, and the guys riding independant.......you can never recognize them from week to week.

Anyways, no crashes, no car accidents, no flats.

Time:	2:07:08
Moving Time:	1:57:47
Elapsed Time:	2:07:08

Avg Speed:	31.4 km/h
Avg Moving Speed:	33.8 km/h
Max Speed:	61.6 km/h

By Jupiter's cock!!!!!

Of course today I had most of the day off, so being that I was already in the west end, I went up to Brampton and rode my Hockley Valley loop.  It was fairly cold, and I had a headwind in my face most of the way there, it seemed.   Its the best 80km ride I do.  A few guys from the new team and I did the loop last week and shredded.  Still in racing shape , even in October.

I have good winter clothes for riding this year, so I'm riding outside for a long as possible again this season.  This time I have a power meter so it will be smarter training chasing a WOB team member!!!!! Boom!!!!

CRIXUS!!!! WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!?!?!?!?!?!



strong beer and hard riding = Gladiator power and courage



A gladiator does not fear death. He embraces it.

A Thursday in Hell/ What the Hell have I gotten myself into? Part 2

So I go back to the Sports Study place today for the last bit of my testing.  The guy Saro tells me that there are some changes.  I will still have to do a near  30 minute warm up, but I won't have to ride in the jacket for 90 minutes.  For the purposes of the study he can't tell me how long I will be riding for.  He also hands down some bad news.  I have to do it without any water.  He also asks me how I felt the other day.  How hot was the jacket? He asks.  I was thinking it was hot, but not as hot as I would expect an electric jacket to feel.  He says today will be much worse.  I soon find that as hot as I was the other day......spinning at 90rpm in a room with no fan, while wearing a winter jacket and some compression netting over it, it was going to get way, way worse.

We have the technology
We have the capability to make the worlds first bionic man
Trevor Doyle will be that man
Better than he was before
Better, Stronger, Faster

This jacket feels like an electric blanket, but all over.  Really, really hot.  It was like riding your bike on the hottest day imaginable, but with no wind, and no water.  I could feel this gross food, or remnants of food moving up my throat.  A weird sensation I had never felt before.  I could smell my breakfast.  Fried egg sandwich on 12 grain bread, with tons of Frank Hot sauce, 1 apple, 1 organic banana, and some ciabatta bread.  Anyways, it was bad.

This was the reading for the electronic mercury filled pill I ate, that was slowly being  eaten away at by  hot sauce

I was soaked with sweat to a degree that I had never seen before.  Even worse than when I rode around Red Rock Canyon, Nevada in June during a heat wave, and dry spell, meteor shower, solar flair display.  And smog alert.  It was hot. I can remember.

It's all over with now.  Back to riding the crit course with a nameless teammate.

What the hell did I get myself into????

Yesterday I went to the Ontario Sports Center in North York.  I got my VO2 max test done, a useless caliper test of body mass index and got weighed on a guaranteed-to-be- accurate scale.   I sort of felt like a superstar as the place was empty so all eyes were on me.  Basically all I did was ride on a $30,000 SRM stationary bike for 45 minutes so we could dial it in and get me comfortable.   Although it was only a warm up ride I was sweating like a pig.   They told me that the next day would be much, much worse.

Enter the next day.  I show up at 9:30.  After swallowing and electronic pill that measures my core temperature I read the package.  THIS DEVICE CONTAINS MERCURY.  Perfect.  I don't drink water from shit plastic bottles,  don't microwave plastic, don't smoke crack, or wear Aluminum Oxide anti-perspirant.  But here I am eating mercury.  (weird.....my thyroid aches, and there are wolves after me....)

It's hard to believe that I used to have arms....this photo must be stretched.  I am not that skinney.

I show up and they make me do a near 30 minute warm up.  No fan.  No blowing air.  Just riding in a room, at room temperature.  I'm sweating profusely.    Then, as quickly as I'm finished, my man tells me to put on this winter jacket.  And not just a regular winter jacket,  this one plugs into the computer.  So, just like that actress who married that dummy from 'that 70's show"  it can ever so slowly  get hotter and hotter.

Hair getting messy, genitals growing numb.

I have to ride at 90 RPM for 90 minutes while wearing this bad Gap jacket. Again, no fan, no  blowing breeze, no fresh air.  Just me sucking  re-circulated wind from out of a crappy semi-sky scraper.  At least I'm allowed to drink water but in keeping with my usual long rides in the heat, I didn't drink very much.  I ended up losing about 3.5 lbs.  Granted that was 90% fluid but 'man-alive' I looked thin when I was done.

I'm sweating like hell and just riding the bars.

I have to go back in 2 days to do either a worse test or an easier test.  They won't tell me.

Regardless, it still wasn't as bad as trying to chase Bruce Bird and the Wheels of Bloor guys on Sunday.

Here are pics of me doing this thing, accompanied by a wicked picture of my dinner.

The secret to a strong, healthy head of hair is Dove. Blood.

Tonight I got invited to go ride at Albion Hills, a popular mountain bike course.  I haven't ridden my mountain bike for a little over a year, and although I still maintain road racing is harder than cross country mountain bike racing I have always been aware of the not-so-subtle difference between the riders.  Despite the fact that  I have 3 biers in me as I type this I will not be dissuaded from attempting to illustrate these differences.  I will maintain until my death that mountain bikers, in general, are nicer, friendlier people than roadies.

1) I showed up 15 minutes late for tonight's ride.  To my surprise everyone was still waiting for us.  If that were a road ride I most likely would have ridden  alone.

2)During this ride I was fortunate enough to be among the fast group, and at every trail head we stopped and waited for the slower riders to catch up.  No snarky comments, and no boasting about speed.

3)At the end of the ride we met everyone at the parking lot.  All smiling faces, and no one was in a rush to leave.  I pulled out a cooler of beer and offered up its contents to any takers.  Everyone smiled, but then then produced their own beer.  Then one guy pops open his trunk and unloads a pile of firewood and promptly builds a Texas-style wildfire.   Everyone then sits around talking about mountain bike related stuff and drinks their beer.  If that were a road ride the first few guys to get back to the parking lot would have undressed, packed up and left.  Even if everyone caught them before they left there would have been a comment about how how the leaders were hammering, even though they haven't been feeling good, or they haven't ridden much lately.  No one would have produced any beer for themselves, let alone for anyone else.

Mountain bikers, for some reason, are way friendlier, and seem to take their sport much less seriously once they're off the bike.  I say this all as a former mountain bike rider/racer and a now converted Road racer.

Not so much a complaint as it is an observation.