Friday, May 27, 2011

Alcohol: The cause and solution to all of life's problems.

"I always knew that cycling wasn't just the act of riding a bike.  It was always far more emotional....far more ethereal practice than just pedaling."  -Rapha Continental rider

                                              Several years ago I rode to Point Pelee daily

I used to ride.  A lot.  100kms a day.  Almost every day.  I loved it.  Loved life.  I saw a short movie today that made me realize the possible folly of my ways.    Here I am .  Slowly recovering from supposed  pneumonia, a fairly badly sprained hand and a pretty bad crack in a $5,000 bike frame.  I'm depressed.  I can't ride with my team, and even if I do .....I can't keep up with them right now. I don't have the lungs or legs for it.   Or maybe its just that I don't have the head for it.  Over the past year or so all I do is ride here in the city.  Ride laps around a couple of business HQ's on roads deserted after 6:00pm.  All so I can get faster.  Not so I can enjoy myself.  Not so I can come home with lungs washed clean with fresh rural air. Not so my mind returns refreshed and ready to focus.  Not so I can stop and hear the sound of a near by creek's water running hurriedly over some jagged rocks.  Just so I can be a bit faster.  I think I used to feel more fulfilled....more rich inside when I used to ride by myself.  Or at least riding for myself instead of racing with others.

                                        Nightly rides around the Crit course isn't doing it for me

 Now that I think about it I really don't think cycling is giving back to me the equal to what I'm putting in.  Maybe it is.......I don't know.  I used to really enjoy getting suited up to go ride for the day.  Now it kind of seems like a chore.  I hope I can get a handle on this .    I think a better balance between the competitive aspect and the pure enjoyment part would really help.  I found that balance with beer, quality over quantity.   I've got some thinking to do.  Riding from Mississauga up to Rattlensnake point tomorrow morning.  Fuck, will I ever be pissed if I get hit by a car again.

                                                            Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, fresh oxygen!