Monday, July 23, 2012

Seven Churches, seven priests

I'm sure I'm going to get into this self-appointed new assignment of comparing beers.  I've always had a sort of black or white kind of attitude towards most things.  So I find it pretty easy to totally flog a beer that's not top shelf material.

Tonight's night off brings me to 2 totally different beers.   Representing the dark side I have purchased Leffe Brun, and representing  the pale side I have Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale.

Opening a Leffe is almost like opening an awesome Christmas or birthday present, like if someone gives you a Possessed-Seven Churches 7" record, but cooler because its got a this gold-leaf like tinfoil around the neck.  I like it.

I'm not crazy about the new logo, but it's deliciousness hasn't changed a bit

I crack the Leffe and the first thing I can smell is a hint of Caramel.  (Not Carmel, I hate when people say carmel) . I pour it into it's home and the delicious foam rides to the top. Confirming to me that I am nothing if not a masterful pourer. It smells so good.  You know the smell when you are in one of the U-Brew-it  breweries and your mouth is watering?  Like that.  Doesn't smell like bad beer breath, or beer soaked t shirt, or spilled beer or any of the other gross beer related smells.  It just smells like something you want to put in your mouth.  I would seriously consider wearing a Leffe Brun cologne if there was one.  Just drinking it makes all your worries go away, except if it makes you remember how much money you have spent in the past on crap beer, or how much daycare in Toronto costs.  Of all the Belgian beers that I buy this one is the only ones that tastes nothing like anything else.  A total original.  Superior to Leffe Blonde even and one of the best darker Abbey beers ever.

They should qualify that the word "pale" means it pale's in comparison to drinking warm flat Budweiser

Keith's India Pale Ale.  They have really done a diservice to the IPA title and community.  Unless I'm a total idiot (remember no gray area) IPA's were brewed originally to last the entire ship voyage from Britain to India, so they used more hops and more alcohol to retard spoilage.   But c'mon....this can of creamed crap only has 5% alcohol and I can barely taste anything hoppy.  In fact, it's almost absent of any taste.  Its got less fizz than Coors Lite, so it feels rotting apple juice.  There isn't really too much head when it's poured.  It's the flattest beer I've ever had.  As any one who has read more than one of my blogs will surely tell you , I'm not normally prone to hyperbole, but this is one tasteless beverage.  I have had some Pale Ale's before.  I really like Gouden Carolous Ambrio , which I have shown in this blog last year .  That beer has some bite!!! This Keith's Pale ale is like eating a loaf of bread that's been soaking in dirty dish water all day.  Boooo to you guys.  Grow a vagina and learn how to make beer. 

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