Burn you like the mid day sun.............

IT IS SO FRICKIN' HOT OUT THERE YOU GOTTA PISS EXCELLENCE AND BE ENDOWED WITH BALLS OF IRON TO RACE TONIGHT IN THIS HEAT............................

  

if Farrah says its hot, then it's hot.  

In this kind of heatwave you have to really think about your race preparation carefully.  You don't want to head out with insufficient water.  For god's sake look what happened to Evan Tanner.  Poor guy.  But aside from the obvious, you want to wear your coolest socks (mine are Assos Skin Web), and if can get away with it and break up your team kit you wear a lighter set of bib shorts (again, Assos).   If it's crazy hot I like to wear different, lighter shoes.

Last week I saw 2 guys crash at the same time, on the same corner.  Both had tires blow off.  I can't see that glass would have done that to 2 different guys.  I bet it was over-inflated tires in concert with the intense heat outside, and the heat of the brakes on that corner.  So I am keeping my tires at 110psi tonight so I don't eat pavement.

I like to throw my 2 race water bottles in the freezer for a while before I head out. I don't want them frozen, but a little slushy or frosty is good.  It really sucks when you are in the final third of the race and your water is hot.

I normally don't like wearing gloves.....but I know I'll be sweating like an Arch Bishop at Sunday school class if I don't......... and if I get to wet I can't hold onto my bars.

There's also a lot of accouterments that you also need to sort through prior to leaving to race.  I like to use chapstick so when I start getting dehydrated I can't really taste and feel the salts forming on my lips. I need to apply my skin conditioner/chamois cream at the last moment.  The last thing I want is to get more saddle sores.  Those little non-STD related bastards have ruined more than 1 race for me.

I like to also make sure I have the proper liquid chilled to perfection waiting for me as soon as I get home.  I don't think I've ever raced, or ridden for that matter, and not finished with a cold bier.

My only weakness

See him flying through the air, if he don't land then he don't care

About 13 or 14 years  ago I had  a cool little house in downtown Kitchener.  I had a fantastic dog named Tajo.  I trained him so well.  He knew his lefts and rights.  He was a great little lead dog for my Dogsled team.  One night the city was hit with a blizzard.  One of those snowstorms where they close the shopping malls early, Taxi cabs won't pick you up, and your Mom calls to say you shouldn't go out to the clubs if you were planning on it  (which I was).   I decided it might be cool to harness up my 2 dogs and see if they could pull me on the sled without the rest of the team.  The roads were shitty with snow.  No cars.  Visibility was near-Ace Frehley conditions.  So we decided take a sled ride to the beer store and pick up a case, and spend the night at home.  We raced down the main street of Kitchener towards the intersection that marked our destination .  I imagine our speed was in the ballpark of 30 kph. ( I had previously clocked my dogs top speed at 48kph when running beside my bike.  This time  there were 2 of them, but they were pulling a 15 lb racing sled, and me.  30kph felt about right.)  We got to the Beer Store and I ran in nonchalantly and ordered a case of Sol.  The guys behind the counter collectively staring at my mode of transportation, which also happened to be  staring at them .  It took a minute to get my beer.  I guess downtown Kitchener Beer stores don't get a lot of dogsled team Beer runs.  Losers.

look at that derailleur . not a scratch!

I just put this BMC Streetfighter  back together today.  It is going to be my new winter transportation.  Actually that's a falsehood.  It will be my winter training bike.  I doubt I'll ever use it to get anywhere.
Note all the awesome parts from racing days gone-by.  I'm totally looking forward to riding it this fall.  Or this summer in the rain.

Cuz he rips. HE RIPS!!! 

Lethal Injection BBQ sauce 2.0

Tonights awesome dinner was a braised* chicken alongside a trash-hill sized pile of Bazmati rice, and a few organic carrots.  I have always hated cooked carrots.  My mother has always overcooked her carrots and for that reason I just can't bring myself to eat them if they are even warm.

I made a pretty awesome BBQ sauce today.  I saw a recipe once for a sauce with pretty cool name, although it escapes me currently I can sort of remember it's ingredient list.  I just adjusted it to my drunken liking.

Pour a bunch of ketchup into a bowl.  Like maybe a 1/3 of a cup.  Heinz is the preferred ketchup, but in many ways its sort of like...whatever.
Add a really hot habanero sauce to it.  At least a tbsp.  At least.  Unless you're a chick.   I use El Yukateco Green,  my old GF (definitely in my top 3 of ex's) went to Cozumel one time and got me this....I got hooked on it like crack.  Any really hot shit like Blairs, Dave's Insanity, etc etc will also do, just use less.  Pure cap is kinda rank.  But again......whatever.
Add a pinch of cinammon.
Add a smaller pinch of onion salt.
Also about 6-12 revolutions of a pepper grinder. (depending on your grinder)
Add a little virgin coconut oil.  Maybe a 1/2 tsp,  olive oil will do.
Stir it intensely  in a  counter-clockwise motion  and then pour or brush it on your BBQ'd-To-be meat.  Make sure when brushing it on the meat you don't actually look at the chicken.  I'm told in some countries that can be considered cruelty to animals.  Or even bestiality.

notice the cherry tomatoes in the not so distant distance.....I didn't touch those.

That rice was the same kind of rice Jesus used as a side dish for all that fish,  Well, some guys got bread.....

* I have no idea what braised means.  I was just taking a stab.......

Team KurzaWINski drinking night at Fregata Nightclub

Tonight was the team party and although Marco didn't make it, and Marc was in damn Paris, and Emilio was in Italia......... it was still fun.

A few new guys scouting out the team for next year I suppose by seeing how we drink.  A more impressive display would be when Marc and I go away in March for training in the states.  Or when we go out with our friend from Wheels of Bloor racing.

Eric Davis from Reika Sport.  Always loud,  Mostly cool.  Alex from the BCC hiding in the rear.

Our new Skin Suit

Andrew from Mid Week Cycling, Krys and some drunken dork who brought a double chin

Stan drinking  his secret weapon.  Not EPO.  thats a different blog.....

Andy the Assassin, Dave, Phils wife, Krys, and Phil Palmer 

Vito, Phil, Krys, Jen, Martin

The photo Jen didn't want posted

The stinky finger getting pointed at Phil

Free Sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was advised to try and make my blog posts a little more 'searchable' in a an effort to have more people find the blog on search engines. So I am going to experiment with some new titles.  I can check the statistics on this tomorrow and see if it works.

This morning I couldn't resist and went and rode the Heart Lake Road route to Orangeville again.  This time I brought a friend.  We held a good pace up to HWY 9 even though neither of us excel on the ascents, and we tried to hammer it on the way back down.  The hammering was generally interfered with by idle bike chatter.

I can't stress enough how awesome a route this is.  Roads as smooth as the legs pedaling on them.

 

No traffic.  No mercy!!!!!

Heart Lake road hills . All week.

For a hill, men would kill. Why? They do not know. Stiffened wounds test their pride.

Here's what I know.  Today I rode the Heart Lake road to Orangeville route.  Possibly my favorite route, in or around the Toronto.  It's very hilly, but I wouldn't describe the hills as climbs really.  Maybe one.

The best part is the no traffic.  Followed by the smooth pavement.  The clean blowing northerly wind. the snapping turtles crossing.  Most of the way up to HWY 9 is uphill.  So it basically means that a lot of the way back to the car is downhill.  A downhill with a tailwind.  I'm doing the same ride tomorrow, but longer and faster.  This turtle in the pic was the second one I saw attempting to cross the road.  The first one looked like your standard friendly pet turtle, but this one had some kind of death beak, and grenade smothering shell, plus it had miniature bear claws, and tail that would be a great concealed weapon.   I didn't help this one across the road.  No way.

check out the damn Stegosaurus tail on this monster 

I recently put these Deda Phazer bars on my Guerciotti.  I can safely says they are the best bars I have tried so far.  I was previously addicted to my Cinelli Ram bars.  Which are awesome in all respects, but they are a little bit heavy.  These Phazers are as light as something really light, but they take comfort to the next level.  As comfortable as something really comfortable.  They have these stupid egg shaped bits on the tops .  Deda calls it the 'power egg'.  Whatever. But the egg fits right into your hand like a testicle self- exam, without the 'turn your head and cough'.  The bottom of the drops also have these cool built in padded pieces that are also totally awesome.  Mostly they have perfected the delicate balance between stiffness and comfort and added a measure of coolness, due in part to the racing stripes that I feel are also pretty sharp.

100% feeling!!!!

not sure why the flash didn't work

Burlington National Road Race report Master 40-49 (as seen from the feed zone)

Holy crap.  Its 30 degrees on my trucks dashboard sensor.  Obviously that doesn't take into account humidity.  So it's searing heat today.  A lot of hard men lined up at this race today.  Even fewer finished.

Andy D'Angelo coming out of nowhere this year

                                         

My job today was to help one teammate and one friend with their water bottles.  In this heat you basically need a new one every lap after about the 3'd lap.

Sometime during the first lap this maniac from either BC or PQ breaks away from the peloton.  Leaving such superstars as the WOB team, Kurzawinski's boys, D'Amico and Z-team and a bunch of others in his dust.  The best part was  that the maniac in question , Dan Martin , did it without any help.  No team mates.  I bet he was fueled by pure rage that he only hit the podium on Friday instead of winning , so he wanted to inflict a ton of pain on anyone who wanted to chase him today.  He stayed away with a gap approaching 3 minutes I would say.  The only time I really timed the gap was on the 9th lap and it was exactly 90 seconds.  Even the mighty Bruce Bird couldn't correct that problem.  Basically Dan did a Floyd Landis and hammered away by himself until he raised his hands.  The race for second was the best anyone else could hope for.

Bruce Bird (WOB) chasing the leader

                                                             

The heat today was more than most riders could handle.  No one trains for this.  After looking at his power numbers, heartrate, and average speeds one top racer told me that he wasn't defeated by the race or the racers today it was the heat and the hydration.  With this past week being on the cooler side by todays measure no one really drank excess water.  So no matter what you drank today your body couldn't process it in time.

My estimation is that about 120 riders started the race and no more than 45 finished the race.

Canadian Road Race Champion

                                           

Results haven't even been posted on the OCA website or on the  Wheels of Bloor blog, but I can safely assume Dan Martin raped the group today with his Bruce Lee style attack.  It was nearly impossible to believe.   Today I witnessed vengeance.  Nice work Dan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amJqimnxdro&feature=player_embedded#at=47

CNE Master 40-49 Criterium race report (as seen from the tail end)

I got to the race about 2 hrs before the start.  I couldn't not get a proper warm up for this one.  Lately that's been the main reason for my terrible season.  I have  used that excuse twice now.   I park alongside Martin and The Reverend Jeff Ker.  We set up a little makeshift area between the cars to set up our trainers, and change and discuss the race.  Gary from Z team parked beside me.  He looked ready to rock.  I think we were too. I try to set my bike into the trainer and am not surprised to find that this new trainer needs a special skewer for the bike to fit so its useless to me.  I get on my bike and in Canada Day traffic I ride up and down Lakeshore Ave.  Around 3:20 we all line up, but the race officials say we can go do 1 warm up lap.  Fuck that.  I have a good spot on the line. 3'd row of about 10 or more.  I made that mistake in Ottawa.  Do the warm up lap and get back to the line and find your 85 guys back.  As we line up I get that sinking feeling I occasionally get before a race, the one that is accompanied by a soundtrack.......but it quickly went away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCEDfZgDPS8

The bell sounds and we clip in and take off.  The guys at the very front are Marc and Stan from Kurzawinski and Ian , Bruce, Radek, and Wieslaw and maybe 2 guys from other teams.  Radek and Wieslaw take off like they were going to be arrested.  The pace is already at my worst nightmare speed, and we just took the first of many chicanes .  Slowly the pack feels itself out and I find myself towards the back.   I would say after a few laps a couple of guys crash on the first corner after the chicane.  It looks like Chris Kirk and Doug Blades.   A small gap forms and we attempt to catch back up.  Impossible they say, but that doesn't keep the inexperienced from trying for a while.  I should have taken my free lap.  I felt good.  Maybe good enough to hang in there.

For a few laps myself and a few guys form a small chase , but its no use.  We were probably all M2s chasing a huge pack of M1s.   We rode our asses for about half an hour off until the clowns in the pace car caught  us and (in some language) said we were being lapped.  I pulled out.  Only to see that a lot of guys hadn't even made it that far.

moments before I got lapped

                                           
I approached Radek from WOB (Wheels of Bloor) and talked for a while.  He had pulled out after 3 laps.  that massive pace he helped set at the start had made him blow up.  The stratagem hadn't worked out  exactly as they had planned .  So I suppose he left the Birdman and Ian to lead the battle without him.  He did  think that Bruce would win.  Sighting that Bruce has an extra 80 watts of power that no one else has, I added maybe Bruce should have a new category made for him.  Master 0.

We watched as the race unfolded.  There were about 7 guys in the breakaway group.  D'amico form Z Team, Bruce and Ian from WOB, Stan from our team Kurzawinski , I think some dude from BC, and I didn't recognize the other 2 (I am not as familiar with the M1 guys, especially the out of province guys) |.  They held strong until about the 3's last lap. But even to the casual observer anyone could see who was doing most of the work, and who was just in for a ride to the line.  Genius I thought, but  they got caught.  From our vantage point we were unable to see exactly where they were caught but I imagine as soon as they were that's when Chris Firek took off like a bat out of hell .  I placed my bets right there that he was going to take it.

The main group caught him probably with less that 1km to go.  As the pack approached the line the only face I actually was able to discern was Robs.  He took the race with his trademark Ferrarri sprint.

He was escorted around the course in a convertible Camero, alongside his 2 beautiful children.  On top of the world.  Nice work Rob.  Canadian National Criterium Champion.

Results here: http://www.canadian-cycling.com/disciplines/sites/default/files/Immunity-FX%20Canadian%20Road%20Championships%20M%2040-49%20Men%20Crit%20Results.pdf

Championship Race time

Got my numbers.
Clean team kit.
Bike is ready.
Legs feel good.
Optimism: All time high.
Small lunch en route.
Legs shaved.
Weather is hot, but not bad.

                                                       I suppose I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

Pinarello Prince of Darkness

 After an insane day of relocating pool tables I just wanted to collapse on the couch with a European Cycling mag  (English not necessary), and a freezing cold  Affligem.  Curses!!!!  I still had to ride, as well as pick up some beer for the long weekend, since I won't be able to tomorrow night.  So I missed the team motor-pacing ride tonight, but the website schedule didn't specify that so it's kinda like......whatever........I went and did my usual default ride and did the Mid Week Crit course for a while.  I rode the Pinarello tonight even though the Zipp 303's creak like a cheap haunted house, in a cheap haunted house movie.  Don't even get me started on how crappy the Dura Ace shifts and sounds.

I like riding that course by myself , at night.  It's kind of like having your own little piece of the world that no one knows about.  I'm totally alone, and it's quiet.  I like riding in the near-darkness.  Keeps me on my toes.

Then I get home and the beers I bought earlier we nice and frosty.  No one must knwo my terrible secret.  I almost never have more than 2 beers at a sitting.

                     Look at that guy.  There's not a thought running through his mind right now.........

3 days until National Championships

Tonight was scheduled to be the 99 lap Mid Week Criterium but I guess with the National Championships coming up on Friday not too many people wanted to ride an endurance race 3 days before.  So the turn out wasn't that great.  Maybe 45-50 guys instead of  the usual 100+.

The National Criterium race was scheduled to be a points race , but I guess for various reasons they changed it to a regular Crit race.  I can't wait.  Balls out boy!!!!

Advantage: team Kurzawinski.

Me and Joe Acardi

Crazy Train

the best part of this picture is that we are both drinking Duvel at work

Special thanks to Juan, my favorite mechanic in the city.  He set up my bike to perform flawlessly for tonights race, as well as Fridays more important race.  Thanks Muchacho!

What's the future of mankind? How do I know I got left behind?

Rode in beautiful Woodstock today.  My old loop around Woodstock, Beachville, Embro (Oxford Country) and a pile of little towns that consist of no more than a 4 way stop intersection, a church and bakery.

Really great rolling hills.  Basically non stop hills.  Nothing too big, but very just one after the other.  With no traffic and great views of the country side.

I wish  I would have brought my camera as the pics would have been cool,  and hopefully it would have inspired one of my regular riding friends  to join me next time.  Instead I just took a picture when I weighed myself today.

                                                                  BOOM!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVnRBL0q298

La Vie Claire

Today I was working in a sizable home in Oakville.  Oakville is known for being the most affluent suburb of the Greater Toronto Area.  As I passed between grand entrance, to spiral staircase, to enormous and well lit finished basement my eye caught a glimpse of something strangly familiar, and (to paraphrase some 80's teen street parlance )  large cool like.

The above piece is (most likely) a print by famed Danish artist Piet Mondrain.  He died in 1944,  he was famous for evolving a type of art called 'neo-plastcism'.  Who didn't love that style of art?  Aside from Art-deco and surrealism what else was was there?  C'mon now.....

In 1984 the La Vie Claire, the French cycling team was one of the most dominant , if not the most dominant teams of the European peloton.  Such notable racers included Greg LeMond, Steve Bauer, Andy Hampsten, Bernard Hinault, and Laurent Jalabert.  The LVC team was maybe the first team to have ever made the switch from steel to carbon fiber frames.  During his time with LVC LeMond is credited with being the first rider to adopt clipless pedals as well as clip-on aero bars.   They also borrowed the Mondrian design and made one of the most recognizable team outfits off all time.  Molteni being the only one I think might be more recognizable.  

A super nice guy sold me this sweater for $60 last winter.   It was 25yrs old, and he didn't believe he's ever worn it.  

      Here's a pic of me pretending I'm going out riding, but  really just wearing a  red-hot jersey

Mid Week Crit Tuesday the 21st

Finally found my legs and lungs.  I love the Tuesday races.  I didn't win but I was up front trying to stir up shit and be part of the race.

Stan won, Marc and Vic both top 10.

Some idiot from Chain Reaction complained that the Kurzawinski team is chopping wheels or something like that.  How weird that all 9 of us seemed to be doing it but no one, especially him, crashed and no one else complained.  In fact I'd say we're friends with almost everyone in the Tuesday peloton.

When Z Team were on top I heard that everyone complained about them.  Now Kurzawinski is killing it and the weaker teams start whining.    This is the Catalina fuckin' Wine Mixer.  I wanna make bank bro, I wanna get ass...............I wanna drive a Range Rover.  POW POW!!!

Assos Bib shorts and handwashing

I was fortunate enough to receive a pair of Assos bibs shorts for my last birthday.  I was so excited to try on and then ride with some of the  cycling worlds most expensive and technically advanced piece of apparel.  When I put them on the magic started immediately.  The easy snugness of the leg grippers.  The strong yet gentle shoulder straps.  Comfort personified.   Possibly it was  the next day I went out for a spin to try them out and see if the chamois lived up to, not only it's reputation, but my initial high praise .

This guy I know says 'Boom!!!!' a lot.  Generally when something is pretty explosively cool.  I think I can safely issue a serious BOOM! to the bibs after ride #1.   They felt like I had a new seat on my bike.  But not a racing seat, more like a leather sofa seat.  Nicest chamois ever.  Better than my Castellis, Pearl Izumis, Sugois, Garneaus, Champion Systems,  even better than Hincapies  and any other bibs I have owned over the years.  I never get uncomfortable when I in them.  No matter the heat.  I put 600-700 florida kms in them this past March.  No sores,  no chafing, no STD's.

I just acquired some Assos apparel detergent.  It comes in very small quantities as you don't need much, but Assos knows that, and they don't sell anything that could be considered cheap.  I think if you ride and wash your bibs everyday it will cost you about $40 a month to clean them.

So I follow the directions and fill the (kitchen) sink with water and the detergent and continue my endeavor to clean, properly the second most expensive bibs in the world.    After a few minutes I wring them out, and hang them outside to dry.  The detergent promises to be more gentle on the fabric than traditional laundry soaps.  I can't actually confirm that without drinking it but I can affirm that it does smell really good. Like a grade 1 school teachers perfume mixed with some exotic flowers that we don't get here in Canada. 

Swallowing colours of the sound I hear

This weekend was a really great weekend fun-wise, but race results-wise ......."how you say not so good?".
We got up to Ottawa about lunchtime on Saturday, checked into our hotel and went over to Hull to ride the Gatineaus.  I haven't been there for 2 years, and it's still one of my favorite places to ride.   On Sundays they don't even let cars into the park, but there were still very few yesterday, and they were all courteous to us.  We rode up past Fortune Lake to the top of the park, and did some loops around.  Nothing too hard so as to not burn out our legs for the next day

                                                  I think this was the highest point

 The Gatineau Parc ride isn't really that long but it loops around so you can do repeats and not have just ride up and then go right down.   Never too steep, but better than anything in Ontario I'd say.   If I lived in Ottawa again, I would ride there every day.

                                                                    Pink Lake lookout

So as it turns out we secure a pretty nice hotel in the gay district/area of Ottawa.  Marc and I are slim, shaven legged dudes walking around looking for a good pub, but really looking more like a gay couple of tourists.  I decide it would maybe throw people off if I walk 10 or so feet behind him, so no one thinks we're together.  But that doesn't work, I still get the feeling that now people just think we are 2 gay dudes in a fight.  Can't win.........I did, however, like the magazine/smoke shop called MAGS AND FAGS.

We are both probably asleep by 10:00 and to the Cartier Hotels credit, the beds were really comfortable, and the air-conditioning was quiet and somehow set at a perfect temp.  Our room even had a full kitchen, large balcony, and a phone in the bathroom.  Actually , that was kind of weird.

The view when looking around town for breakfast

We get to the race and I get a halfassed warm up in before the race, but not before noticing the all the TV cameras and spectators and how the street were properly blocked off etc etc, this race is the real deal.  In Ottawa people actually come out to see a bike race, unlike Toronto.  Or at least the promoters know to hold a bike race in a spot where people will be.  In some spots along the finishing stretch you couldn't get to the road to see, there were so many people.  Up and down one side of the main street were pubs with patios full of people drinking and sort of watching the race, but mostly just enjoying the heat and  the ever delicious beer.

When the whistle sounded and everyone took off I had a bad position.  One that gradually worsened.  I could see Marco and Jeff at the front, and Phil and Martin slightly ahead of me.  I couldn't seem to find the opening or the power to move up.  I sat on the back until the end, but still an early demise.  I can't truly figure out what went wrong.  I'm not dwelling on it. Even with the 3 or more crashes the  guys did awesome , and Marco seems to enjoy playing at the front with everyone and then pulling back on the last lap.  More on that as it gets figured out.

Little Italy was pure style

The M1/Elite race was crazy fast.  They mixed in the younger elite racers with the older elite racers and it made for a pretty exciting race.  Stan, Andy and Marc all did well.  Marc got caught in a crash on the second last lap, running over some guys wheel which kept him off of the podium, but at least he stayed upright.  Andy got a decent 3'd, and Stan won.  Second win for that bastard.  I wish Bruce Bird and the WOB guys would have been there to contest that.  Not a lot of room on the podium for those Men in Black.

you know I lost my mind when I saw this place....

                                   

I would love to start going up to the Ottawa and Quebec area  for more races.  It's so much cooler up there than the GTA.  By cooler I mean different.  But definitely more my speed than Toronto.  Plus I would love to pretend I understood Francais.

                                                                                                 Pic by K.J. Carr
                                                                                                                                             pic by K.J Carr

I was checking to see which gasket I had blown